Scarlet, you are a Pineapple.
You asked why. I built a whole website to explain it, because peeling one is a commitment and I'm a persistent man.
01. The Spiky Exterior
Your texts are dry. You have these sharp little spikes that say “stay back.” It's an effective defense mechanism, but I've always liked a challenge.
02. The Tough Shell
You don't just let anyone in. It takes tools, time, and a bit of effort to see what's actually going on. Most people give up. I bought a better knife.
03. The Sweet Interior
My gut feeling? Once you get past the armor, it's all gold. Bright, sweet, and probably worth the sticky fingers. You're hiding the best parts.
04. The Core
A bit firm, centered, and unapologetic. You know exactly who you are, which is the most attractive thing about a fruit (and you).
Exhibit A: The Culprit
Evidence file #88-S
Entrepreneur by day, your favorite annoyance by night.
My mom and sister — my original photography clients. I survived 47 retakes per photo, so I have the patience your Instagram requires. I also know when to bring snacks, chocolate & keep my mouth shut.
The whole world is ours. Summers in Europe, winters in Bali — I'm already living an international life, and I'd love a partner in crime for it.
Broken foot, zero complaints, still building. I'm clumsy, adventurous, and annoyingly positive. Your biggest daily stress will be whether I'll injure myself in the most absurd way possible.
The Case for “Us”
- 01
I can handle the spikes. I've built ecom brands from zero; one dry texter isn't going to scare me off.
- 02
Stockholm aesthetic meets your vibe. I'm bringing you into Swedish culture: real meatballs you have to try, fika that turns into a three-hour date, a pilgrimage to the homeland of IKEA, and midsummer where we dance around a flower-covered pole in weird outfits. I know it sounds weird, I'll tell you all about it. You'd look cute wearing a midsommarkrans*.
- 03
I'm a Swedish guy who can cook, take photos, and genuinely likes that you're difficult to peel.
Exhibit B* in case you don't know what a midsommarkrans is hehe , it's a flower crown you wear while dancing around a flower-covered pole, and you'd look dangerously cute in one.
I am an investment.
Attraction is growing exponentially. Past performance is, in this rare case, an excellent indicator of future results. Tap the faces, do your due diligence.
Current market value
Curls fixed, business built, loving life, looking for partner in crime.
* Not financial advice. Emotional advice only. The 2036 figure assumes continued sun, protein and one (1) supportive girlfriend.